It was early in the morning as I was driving into work. The fog was so thick you could barely see one car length in front of you. There was snow on the ground so I was travelling slowly down the road. I knew there was a stop sign ahead and I was straining my eyes to see the warning sign that would tell me to slow down. I never saw it. Instead I came up on the stop sign faster than expected. Only the snow under my car was a sheet of ice and I was unable to stop at the T intersection.
Having been suicidal for much of my life and at the time being on the fence, not wanting to die, but not really wanting to live either, I was surprised to hear my own voice scream out “No!” as I saw the telephone poll come out of the fog. I realized at that moment that for the first time in my life, I wanted to live. Of course, there was no stopping the crash. But I did survive.
I sat in the car in total shock as a man came up to me to see if I was ok. He suggested I call 911, but I couldn’t dial the phone. He took care of it for me. He told me it was a good thing my air bag went off. I hadn’t even realized it was there in my lap. It had wiped out my short term memory. The man had to leave, but he assured me help would arrive soon.
I saw and heard him get in his car and drive away and then through the fog came a woman. She knelt down in front of me as I sat in my car and asked if I was ok. I couldn’t speak. She looked in my eyes and took my hand as I started to cry. The police arrived. She stayed in front of me holding my hand. The police needed to ask me questions. Although I could see the policeman’s face behind her, it was as if he was speaking a foreign language. She repeated his questions for me then passed my answers to the police. All the while she would reassure me that I was going to be fine.
After a while the ambulance arrived. She told me they had to put me on the stretcher even though I felt I could stand on my own. After they got me strapped into the stretcher she gave my hand a final squeeze saying she had to leave and that they would take good care of me. She then disappeared back into the fog.
I never saw her again. That was 12 years ago and to this day I still remember the angel that came at that major transition point of my life. It still brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. But I now feel angels guiding me as I drive and I wonder if she was always there and simply materialized temporarily when I needed it most.