Over the last 6 months I have been working exceptionally hard in my own development, personal growth and, in particular, healing the scars and letting go of the effects of my ‘less than pleasant’ past experiences. This process has so far been very successful in terms of my acceptance of the experiences, forgiveness to the people involved and most importantly, in self forgiveness. It seems this is a concept which is somewhat difficult for us humans to understand and accept that it is okay and ultimately important to be able to forgive yourself for making the mistakes you have.
Over the last week I have tumbled onto ‘rockier terrain’ in the respect of one issue, of which, I have spent particular time and effort in dealing with healing. I will not go into intricate detail of the issue itself, it is irrelevant. However, what is relevant is what I have come to learn as a result of my ‘trial and error’ efforts in dealing with this.
My own awareness, knowledge and understanding of life and of how we do function as human beings has evolved to a far higher level than before through dealing with the process of healing and accepting my experiences. But one particular aspect of this experience has ‘reared its ugly head’ once again! This of course was unexpected by me as I thought I had dealt with the closure well enough to prevent any reoccurring circumstances. This time the effects of this issue seem to have hit me far harder than they ever did before. Why? Because I should have known better!
The question here is just what is right and what is wrong when it comes to the way we handle our experiences in relation to the level of awareness and understanding we have? This week has been a particularly trying, confusing and frustrating time for me by having one of my experiences ‘creep up’ on me once again, after having thought I had dealt with clearing it out effectively and completely. This occurrence left me to question the right and wrong of the situation, as I personally did not see myself dealing with the situation well enough, in terms of the extent of my higher level of knowledge, awareness and understanding. This on its own does breed the self punishment, torture, guilt and shame we inflict upon ourselves. Certainly, it did in my case as, like I said before, I really should have known better than to have dealt with my situation to such a degree of negligence as I did. As a result I somehow managed to convince myself that I was a disgrace. A disgrace to myself, to my guides and to all of the people who know me well, who understand me, my attitude toward life, my beliefs and what I stand to represent as a human being a spiritual being or whatever you’d like to call it in fact!
I spent the entire week in dreadful shame of the way I was thinking, acting and reacting as a result of this situation and I asked my guides a million questions of what was right and wrong in terms of my actions, thoughts and behavior in this situation. Would I be penalized? Am I creating Karma when I am clearly acting in contradiction of my true awareness and understanding of the whole scenario? How will this stand to affect my evolution at a soul level and my tasks in this life? These are but a few of the many questions that consumed my mind and of which were presented to my guides at this time! They enlightened me with some of their wisdom, of which, I feel is too valuable to keep to myself, so I would now like to share it with you!
“In reality there is no right or wrong in any situation, even if you feel you are doing wrong then that’s good news, as long as you understand it and do not repeat the action in the same process! It is not important to become ‘stuck’ in trying to define what is right or wrong in any situation. The importance lies in what we are doing about it, in order to correct the situation when we feel we are not handling as well as we should be. As a human, there are vast allowances to the mistakes that are made and it is to be expected, otherwise, why are we here in the first place?”
We do need to make mistakes in order to learn and grow as a human being and to evolve at a soul level. The huge lesson I learnt from this is that even with a higher awareness we are still allowed to make mistakes and ‘fall’ once in a while. This will only lead to reinforcement of those lessons and deeper wisdom than that already obtained from our previous similar experiences, as long as we handle it in the proper fashion.
Personally, I am one who has been prone to practicing self punishment, and as a result of my recent experience I have come to realize the circumstances seem to have a far greater negative effect upon me when I react and act with negligence when being faced with an experience. Particularly when I do know better through my higher awareness and understanding of life and of how we do think and function consciously as human beings. However, this is no excuse and we all should try harder to prevent any repetition of those mistakes that result from sheer negligence when we do know and understand better.
From my own experience, I can honestly say that it does definitely hit you harder, be it consciously, subconsciously, at a soul level (if you are attuned to that!) and particularly on your intuition. In future I certainly will take greater care in handling any experiences I am faced with. It is crucial for us to understand that with having a higher awareness and understanding of the ‘bigger picture’ of life, definitely does not mean you are a ball of perfection and this should not be taken for granted. From my experience, it seems that having a higher understanding only brings a greater responsibility upon you in living up to that wisdom and knowledge to which you are attuned and understand at your soul level, your ‘higher self’, your own ‘spirit’ or whatever you would term prefer to use!
We all have our imperfections and negative traits lurking deep under the surface, regardless of how spiritual and perfect we think we are with our higher awareness. The real task is to discover and accept those negative aspects of ourselves as being a part of who we are now and to begin working toward dealing with and healing these negative characteristics in order to achieve a higher awareness and understanding of who we really are inside without being bound and blocked by unnecessary negative baggage or by being deceived by thinking we know it all because we claim to be ‘spiritual’ therefore, having no flaws. This is an illusion!
The process requires patience and careful acknowledgment of every aspect of your problem, in order that in the event of any future reoccurrence, you know and recognize the event as being a part of an unresolved past experience. The longer we disregard the need to deal with our issues and leave them unacknowledged because we think we are a picture of divine perfection, believe it or not, the more difficult it is to deal with as we grow and evolve spiritually.
So, do yourself a favor and expose yourself to your own truths. Be completely honest to yourself about your fears and imperfections, accept every aspect of this and forgive yourself and any other people involved and no blame must be inflicted upon anyone under any circumstance, including yourself. It is irrelevant and will only result in breeding more negative feelings in you consciously and subconsciously, and keep in mind that you are never completely allowing the healing and closure of any situation to take place whilst you are holding on to blame or guilt.
This is the only way to deal with healing, growing and evolving and those of us who do have a higher awareness are not exceptional cases! As I said before, it only means we have a greater responsibility towards ourselves and the way we handle our experiences in an appropriate way. We must learn to understand who we are now, all of whom and what we are completely and with the imperfections, before we can begin to work upon reshaping and developing ourselves to our full potential.
At the same time, give yourself a break you have nothing to achieve from trying to prove yourself to yourself, or anyone else for that matter. This will only result in bringing more confusion and frustration to the situation. Above all, learn to forgive yourself because it is okay to make mistakes! You are after all, only human!